I am not an Intellect

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Gilbert K. Chesterton concluded that God has never grown tired of making all daisies alike, because God has never grown tired of daisies.

I married one…Intellect: capacity for thinking and acquiring knowledge, especially of a high or complex order; mental capacity.  Grandpa is brilliant.  All of the kids are brilliant.  In fact they went through a phase of taking IQ tests over and over just to see how high it was (really)…I refused to take the test.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I’m not smart, I am.  But my brain just doesn’t function at that high a level.  It takes me longer to learn than any of them.  One of my God-given gifts, however, is a love of learning.  So I study things a lot.  But I learn slower than the Intellects in my little family circle.  For years and years I wondered WHY?  Why couldn’t I become an intellect?  Why couldn’t I be as smart as all of them?  My answer came in an unexpected way, in a moment that caught me off guard, when an elderly woman spoke in Church.  After explaining what I basically just explained, she said that one day she asked God WHY.  The answer she received was exactly what I needed to hear.  The answer came to her in a very clear thought…I needed you to be content to stay home and raise your children.  I sat there, stunned.  All of those years I had wondered why, and I felt that as she told her story, it was my story too, and my answer.   I have never felt a pull to the corporate scene.  I can’t compete on the corporate scene with brilliant intellects, I never will.  I have never wanted to be a professional anything.  I have never aspired to be anything but a Mama and an Oma.  It is my greatest joy, and my deepest satisfaction.    All that I’ve learned to do and enjoy over the years has always served my family…cooking, cake decorating, hair cutting, canning, couponing, budgeting, organizing, cleaning, literature, writing… I suppose I will always feel inferior around intellects.  But what I’ve chosen to be, I feel, is exactly what Heavenly Father chose for me.  I am happy in my simple little world of family and children and grandchildren and making lunches and meals and cleaning and driving the text book to school that the 11th grader forgot (because I can)…this is me.  I don’t feel unsettled anymore about my calling in life.  When I think about what I’ve done over the years, I believe I have many less regrets than if I’d worked outside of the home.  The simpleness of me would make it very difficult to juggle family and career.  At least for me, I’m content that I’ve done everything I can to be a good mama and Oma.  And that’s all God has ever asked of me.  There is no higher calling on earth than to be a mother.  I’ve poured everything I have into it.  And even though I know I will never be an intellect, I know that I am just what I am supposed to be.  For now.  And I am content.

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Comments

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