“Stupid Is As Stupid Does”

photo 2-2 Mama with T, Me, and M and the animals

My daddy has a saying…”Stupid is as stupid does.”  This is the story my children continually ask for.  Maybe because it’s funny.  Probably because it gives them a pretty good glimpse into some of the stupid (yes, I taught my kids not to say that word…) stuff I came up with as a child.  Most likely they enjoy basking in the imperfections of their mama.  So for better or worse, here you go grandkids.  (I really must be the one to tell this story, because were your parents to do it, there is no telling what story you will get).

I was the “vain” child, so my mother tells me.  I was the “pris pot” of the family.  I liked makeup and hair styling, and getting dressed in big princess gowns and doing my best to look beautiful.  This personality does not really match with the living on a farm, but there you have it.  I still like all that stuff, except for the ball gowns…I’m quite over that.  I’ve settled into lots of days with jeans and sweatshirts, but I still won’t go to the grocery store without lipstick.  Really.  But I digress.

This little mishap occurred at the little house, the one we moved from when I was twelve.  So I must have been about 9 or 10 when this happened.  We had a small family farm.  Goats, chickens, rabbits, and always a dog, and sometimes a cat.  One day I decided to try to get the best of my sister, T.  Now T, you have to understand, upheld her title of “I can do anything and get anyone else in trouble for it” for twenty years.  Truly.  So on this day, I must have thought up this little shenanigan to get back at her.  While outside with the WHOLE FAMILY (of course), we were playing and having fun and, probably doing chores, but I just remember the fun.  I decided to DARE my sister T to place her head under the goat’s butt and see if she could remove her head before it peed on her.  If you have never been around goats, you’ll need to understand that they pee and poop constantly…while they are walking or running or standing or eating or whatever.  So I must have figured I had a pretty good chance of that goat peeing on her head, which would have brought me great satisfaction.  She hesitated, but I must have been VERY persuasive.  So she did it.  And the goat did not, I repeat, did NOT pee on her head.  So she outwitted me, and dared me to do the same thing.  Well this was a problem.  I didn’t want to seem weak in the eyes of my younger sister, and I also did NOT want to put my head under that goat’s buttocks.  I figured if I did it real fast, I would most likely luck out just like my sister.  So I hovered my little head just under that goat’s butt for about 1  second, and of course, it peed all over my poor little head!  Being the pris pot that I was, I was completely devastated.  I hadn’t calculated (I’ve never been good at math) that it had been enough minutes in between pees to understand that I was definitely going to get peed on.  My sister couldn’t have been happier.   And the rest of the family didn’t stop laughing for an hour.  This one had backfired.  Big time.  And there you have it.  The story that introduced my children to the phrase “STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES!”  Cheers!

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